2: Don't Compare Yourself
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Yet we all do it at some point.
But unless you’re extremely motivated by seeing someone more successful than you, comparing yourself to others is not likely to serve you at work.
This is because we each have a unique set of personality traits and competencies that fascinate others.
For me, my ambition, focus and confidence have often set me apart from my peers.
If I compared myself to someone with a different mix of advantages, I would be frustrated and probably couldn’t replicate their results.
So what can you do instead?
Observe others you admire (i.e., watch, don’t judge) and think about what makes them successful.
Consider your own strengths and weaknesses and how comfortable you are pushing those boundaries.
This last part is key – while it’s great to push yourself out of your comfort zone, it needs to be authentic and realistic.
Take this example:
If you’re trying to emulate the best public speaker in your firm, but you have never given a public talk or you get extreme stage fright…
Then it may not be realistic to think you are going to be an amazing public speaker without some significant time, practice and effort.
It may look like that skill comes naturally to someone else, but it probably took them years to master.
But all you see is the polished result.
This is why comparison can be so dangerous.
Not only do we lack insight into what it took that person to get there, but we may not even possess the innate natural talents that would facilitate our success in that area.
So we could just be setting ourselves up for disappointment.
Before you compare yourself to someone else, assess your own natural talents and non-talents.
Consider whether they are well-aligned to your pursuits and if you’re committed to putting in the hard work and time to get there.
3: Don't Say Yes
By nature, many women are people pleasers.
We want to make others happy and we want people to like us.
We want to say yes to our boss’s last minute request to get that report in by Friday.
We want to volunteer for that extra assignment because we will do a great job and it’s a way to get noticed.
And we also want to mentor the three people who have reached out to us because they admire us and want to learn from us.
Suddenly, we’ve agreed to a ton of extra tasks and we’re overcommitted.
There’s absolutely a time and place in your career for saying yes as much as possible.
Only you know when that time is right…
For me, I did this early on in my career, when I was younger (and had boundless energy and fewer personal commitments) and hungry for as many new experiences as possible to help me develop my niche and natural talents.
Beyond that, saying no becomes a critical way to set boundaries and protect your creativity and your sanity.
If you’re any good at what you do, you will undoubtedly have people asking a lot of you.
You aren’t obligated to say yes to everything.
You also don’t need to apologize.
Setting boundaries is part of being mature and also allows you to take time for self-care.